Cold Outside
by Dancer612
Summary: Kurt really just wanted to forget the mistakes that he had made when he first moved to New York. But no matter how hard he try's, his past keeps sneaking up on him. Dressed like one Elliot Gilbert.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters that you recognize, nor do I pretend to have any claim on them. I am just playing with them currently.

My eyes followed the white fluffy snow as it blew around effectively snowing me in for the night. I sat in my window seat, my hands cradling a now cold cup of coffee. The book that I had been reading laying several feet away from me on the floor. The memories flooded back reading about a happy and in love couple desperate for each other's love. Everything reminded me of him, he's in everything that I do, a song on the radio, a book, even as I look around my bedroom. I knew that I was just being silly, i knew that I had nobody to blame but myself. Sometimes I wonder why the jealousy eats at me so bad, Elliot had liked me and had never made it a secret. After a while he had given up on me, it wasn't until I had realized that he had started to move on that I had feeling for him the whole time. It was partly my fault because I never told him about my feeling after he pulled back. I knew that he wouldn't consider me a second time, especially when he had every gay guy in New York interested in him. He had always had everybody falling for him but for a short while, he had only wanted me.

Elliot had been my rock after the band had gotten together, he was there every day. He helped me through my break-up with Blaine. Elliot had been the one who had told me about Blaine cheating on me behind my back. The night that he had told me i blew up at him, I yelled and threw things at him until i broke down into a mess curled up on the floor. He stayed with me that night and wouldn't let me called or text Blaine until i was calmed down and thinking properly. The day after I broke up with Blaine and Elliot and myself got closer.

Then one day Elliot started to pull back, instead of seeing him every day that turned into every couple of days, then once a week until we didn't talk at all. The band broke up because everybody was so involved in their own lives that we all stopped talking. I moved out of mine and Rachel's flat, when she invited Blaine up for the weekend, hoping that we would rekindle our relationship. I was moved out before he even got to New York. I adjusted to living alone quickly, being able to finally have my own space did wonders for my mood. I had gotten promoted at work and are now junior editor. Everything had been going great until yesterday.

I had gotten off of work at quarter after three, which was really odd for me. Since becoming junior editor i had never gotten off before five, but my senior editor, Vince, had been itching to get home to his family for the Christmas holidays, this being his first Christmas with his new baby girl. So we decided to wrap up early. Since I had a whole two hours before I normally get home, I had decided to stop at my favourite coffee shop 'cold outside' which had only opened three weeks before and was thriving. I ordered my coffee and way to the very back table where I pull out my laptop and put my headphones in and switch to my writing playlist and settle in to write a chapter or two before heading home.

I was so absorbed in my writing that I didn't notice that the coffee shop had started to fill up. I looked up when the sounds were starting to override my music, only to see that there wasn't many seats left in the fairly big coffee shop. I let my eyes wander and i froze when my eyes locked on on a familiar head of dark brown hair. My breath seemed to leave me, and the world seemed to stop for a moment. Elliot threw his head back and laughed, his arm tightening over the shoulder of a younger blonde with a shock of blue in his hair. I watched as Elliot leaned over and attached his lips to the blonde's, the air seemed to suck itself back into my lungs at the sight. I felt my eyes being to water and quickly began to pack my stuff back into my bag, I blasted my music so that I couldn't hear anything as i almost ran out of the coffee shop.

I didn't stop until i had almost ran three blocks, i leaned against the wall of a brick building as tears finally began to run down my cheeks. I leaned over and grabbed my knees to keep myself standing as it panted trying to catch my breath though my tears. It felt as if my heart was icing over with the weather, as the snow began to fall while i rested against the wall. After about ten minutes, I finally pulled myself together enough to make the walk home. I stopped at the corner store a block away from my house, because there was no way that i was going to be able to get through the night without my mint ice cream.

After making my way upstairs, I cried all the way through the night. I cried because of the ache in my heart. I cried for what could've been and for the secret hope that one day that we would find our way back to each other. After about half of the pint of ice cream, i put it away in the freezer before throwing the tv on some random tv show. I made myself get in the shower, do my face routine, before finally putting on some comfy sweats and climbing into my huge fluffy bed and pulling my comforter around me. It took hours before i was finally able to fall asleep.

The next morning, my eyes were sore and puffy when I managed to pull myself out of bed. I had texted Vince early that morning to let know that I wouldn't be able to go to work that day. When he texted me back, he was concerned because i had never missed a day unless i was dieting of a cold. I had really had no choice but to tell him that i was having a little break down, Vince, was in short, one of the best people in the world. He had texted me back and told me to stay in bed and take the day off, saying that I wouldn't be any good until i had gotten it out of my system.

So i did what he told me to do, I slept in until noon. After I managed to pull myself out of my comfy bed and to the bathroom to wash my face. I took a moment to look myself in the mirror and pulled myself together. I knew that after today, i had to pick myself up and move on, so I decided to start with my appartment. I pulled my overflowing hamper into the Laundry room and put one load on as i went and started to make breakfast. I pulled my emergency bacon out of the freezer and put it into the microwave to defrost. I started the water in my sink and put my day old dishes into soak. Then i heard a knock on my door, i reluctantly went to look to see who it was before opening the door. I looked through my peephole, only to see Vince's smiling face peering through the other side of the peephole. I groaned "come on Kurt, let me in. I know that you're in there, i bought bagels from your favourite bakery" he bribed. I slowly unlocked my door, a little confused as to why he was at my door at one on a work day.

After i opened the door, he pushed his way into my apartment. And walked right into my kitchen and turned my stove on and pulled the bacon out of the microwave. I sputtered "not that I'm not happy to see you, but what exactly are you doing in my apartment, cooking me breakfast" my voice had climbed in pitch before i was finished my sentence. He threw a smile over his shoulder as he started putting the bacon in the pan "well, technically speaking, it's lunch. And i know what it's like to have to go through something of this caliber alone, and I didn't want to see you alone here all day". I couldn't help the small smile that flickered across my face, i had lost all my friends when i broke up with Blaine. It was nice to see that the person that care about like a big brother was worried about me. I walked over and nudged Vince out of the way of the stove, i smiled at him "thank you Vince, i am happy that you are here, but you can't cook for shit so move" He playfully held up his hands surrendering the stove to me as he put the bagels into the toaster. I took the bacon out of the pan and put the eggs on and turned to see Vince taking the bagels out and putting butter and cream cheese one them, i regarded him carefully "so, Vince what plans did you have coming over here? Knowing you, you couldn't have come over without some big plan." He threw me a smirk over his shoulder before stage whispering "you'll just have to wait and see" I rolled my eyes and focused back on the eggs.

Once we had sat down to eat and had finished breakfast Vince got up and threw a bag at me " go grab a shower, put on the outfit in the bag and get ready because we are going shopping". I groaned knowing that he had planned to get me out of my apartment all this time, but made my way to the bathroom know that i really didn't have a choice in this matter.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the glee characters. I just wanted to play with them for a while. Please feel free to leave me feedback, i love to hear for you.

After Vince and I had out shopped most New Yorkers, we stopped for small meal before heading back to my flat. I almost turned around and fled when I took one look at the tall brick building. After Vince all but dragged me into the shop, I realized that it looked a lot better on the inside. It was a small Sub shop but it held none of the rough exterior, inside it was lovey. Decorated as you would expect of a Sub shop in New York. I told Vince to order for me because he had been to the shop before and knows what I like.

After we had sat down in a booth in the back of the shop surrounded by the massive amount of shopping bags. We started talk about the new edition to the magazine, we had gained a new undersecretary. Vince groaned when I asked his opinion "he is simply a menace, he doesn't want to do anything that his job entails. He wants to believe that he could take my job and he even tried recommending that i change things in the second winter edition'. My mouth dropped open "you have to be kidding me, undersecretary is the lowest part of the company. He must think he's the big cheese" I said amazed. Vince agreed and we moved on to lighter topics like what we are expecting in the spring issue.

Once we were almost finished and just picking at the last of our food, the door bell above the door ran and a familiar bunch of people crowded into the shop. I groaned in horror when I realized that both Elliot and Rachel were apart of this group and tried to pull my scarf higher up around my neck. Vince looked at me strangely and peeked around the corner and spotted the group crowding around the counter. He looked back at me and realization dawned in his eyes. He reached over and pulled my scarf back down to where it was. He leaned across the table and whispered "Kurt, you have to pretend that you didn't even notice them and that they don't affect you. Stay strong and don't break that face and give in the them, remember that they hurt you" i continued to stare straight into my eyes until i had nodded. I took a deep breath and brought up the horrible model that we had to deal with last week.

Vince laughed "that model was so horrible that the photographer wouldn't even take the picture, after we had gotten him all dressed up" he half groaned half whined. I shook my head at him "at least they are scared of you I had to get security to drag him out after the second outfit change" i told Vince while keeping my attention on him I kept Elliot in the corner of my eye. Elliot head swivelled around until his eyes caught my figure sitting in the booth, I seen his eyes widen slightly before he turned around to talk to Rachel and his play toy. Vince gaped at me "what the hell did he do?" I gave him a slightly odd look "Did nobody tell you what happened?" He shook his head with wide eyes. I leaned over the table slightly and whispered "They didn't tell you that he grabbed my ass and told me that i was going home with him after the shoot?" His mouth fell open and stared at me horrified.

Just then I heard the clicking of high heels approach the table and i looked up to see a very angry Rachel Berry standing there with her hand firmly planted on her hips. I wouldn't say anything because she doesn't deserve to hear anything from me. Vince peered up at her from where he was sitting "Is there anything that we can help you with?" Vince simpered with a sarcastic tone. She glared at him "How dare you Kurt, how could you just up and leave me by myself in that apartment" she half shouted. I looked at Vince and gather my garbage and my shopping bags while she was there tapping her shoe waiting for me to answer her. After grabbing all of our bags i looked over at her "You really want to know why i left? Really? I would have thought that you would have gotten that all figured out by now. You invited my Ex that had cheated on me with the entire football team plus others, and when I asked you to kindly refrain from trying to get Blaine and I back together, you told me that i should just forget about everything that he had done and just take me back! So maybe now you can figure out why i left!" I tried to calmly say but ended up almost shouting at her.

I then grabbed Vince's hand and turned on my heels and walked/stomped out of the store. I needed to get out of there before i started to cry angry tears, Vince just followed behind me until we arrived back at my apartment. I shut the door and the tears started falling as i collapsed on the couch. Vince wrapped in his arms trying to calm me down but failing. I knew that the hurt that i was feeling wasn't all from Rachel, but most of it was from watching Elliot stand there surrounded by those who use to be my friends with his arm wrapped around some wanna be blonde.


	3. Chapter 3

Hey guys, I want to thank everybody for your feedback. Here is another chapter, sorry that it took so long enjoy.

The next morning when I got up, I checked my phone to that Vince had texted me saying that he was staying home today and for me to take the day off. When I texted him to find out why, he just said that he wasn't feeling to good. So I told him to keep me updated and decided to work on my book. So I got up and ate and started to build my pillow fort in my living room. Which means that I pulled my hidden stash of pillows and blankets from the window seat that i keep there just for this reason.

After I had gotten myself settled into my fort and buried and surrounded by many blankets. I pulled my laptop closer to me and started to write. I lost myself in the story of heartache and betrayal, I didn't zone back into the world of reality until there was a knock at my door. Looking up begrudgingly, I climbed out my the blankets and headed over to the door. I looked through the peephole, and I was stunned. Elliot was leaning on the wall beside my door staring at the peephole I was peering through. I squeaked and ducked down and hid. I debated not opening the door, before I heard him speak. He knocked again "Kurt, I know that you're in there, Please Kurt I just want to talk to you!" he half yelled through the door. I signed and knew that i'd have to open the door or he just wouldn't go away.

I slid the chain on the door off and took a deep breath and opened the door. Elliot was the same as the last time i seen him. His hair was the only thing that he had changed, Now he had put honey brown and blonde streaks though his normally dark brown hair. He had on a black jacket with snugly fit jeans with a black belt and a black New York buckel and motorcycle boots on. All in all still just as handsome as always. But right now, He looked disinterested. He leaned his shoulder on the door jam and gave me big eyes. "Kurt, I know that you are mad at Rachel but are you really mad?" he spoke slightly pitying. It took a minute to comprehend what he had said, he lit a fire inside of me and not one of the good ones either. I took a deep breath, "Elliott, you need to leave, right now. You have no business here!".

As much as it hurt, I had no choice but to tell him to leave. He pulled himself off the door frame and pushed himself past me and into my apartment "Kurt, you have to understand that rachel is broken without you, she is lost without you. She said that she really misses you and wants you to move back in with her!". As much as i like to pride myself on keeping a tight rein on myself control, it just snapped. I seethed "Then where is she, where is she Elliott? She obviously doesn't miss me as much as you say she does because i spent months trying to keep in touch with her and i got nothing. Even when we were in the same room, she still felt like she was 1,000 miles away and that nothing that i said was important. So, why are you really here Elliott, Because if that is the reason you're here you really need to leave!" I half yelled at him. Elliott stood there with a shocked look on his face, obviously he was just expecting me to do whatever he said.

It was quiet for a second as i watched him try and come up with an idea about why he was here. After a minute, he puffed out a breath. He looked at me and took a step closer, to which i responded with a step back, He couldn't get into my personal space because i would not be reasonable for my actions. He stopped and he said "Kurt, I really miss you. I miss my bestfriend and I want to be apart of your life again, we all do". I have to say that he shocked me, I was expecting him to come in here and tell me that he misses me.

My heart was pounding in my chest, but it was breaking again. "I'm sorry Elliott, but i just can't go through that again. Everything that you guys did or said about me, it all broke me. After everything that happened i had to rebuild myself into a new person with the shards of the person that i was before. The Kurt that you see in front of you is not the same person. This person came back stronger and i can't become that person again, I won't become that person again. So, you need to leave Elliott." It felt good to get that off my chest but i was afraid of his reaction. When he didn't say anything i huffed and said "Now that this issue is settled i think that you should leave now!" and reopened the door. He slowly walked through the door as if expecting me to ask him to stay, once he was on the other side i said "goodbye Elliott" and closed the door.

I waited a few minutes and then i heard him start walking away with a string of curses following in his wake. I slid down the door when i could no longer hear him, i could feel some tears welling up but they didn't fall. After what felt like forever i pulled myself off the floor and pulled out a bottle of whiskey and a glass and collapsed in my pillow fort. After cracking open the bottle and pouring half of a glass and chugging it, i felt a little bit better. Then i hit me, i just told the person that i have been in love with to basically get out because i'm not the same person but yet i'm still in love with him.

I stayed holed up in my blanket fort until half of the bottle of whiskey was gone, i sat curled up while staring at my computer screen. While drinking and being upset, i had finally finished my novel and had found the ending that i had been searching for since i had started writing the book. Where the guy leaves the love of his life and finds love in an unexpected place and it shows their life together in snippets until the end. Unfortunately not everything that happens in books is real.

After feeling sorry for myself i pulled myself up off the floor, albeit a bit drunkenly. I locked my door and dragged myself to my bed and and curled up and dreamt of Elliott. Unfortunately, not even all dreams come true.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

 ***Thanks to everybody who keeps reading, please tell me what you think!***

I had slept very little, when I drink whiskey it tends to keep me up all night, tossing and turning. When I woke up this morning I had to pull myself out of bed and make myself get ready for work. After jumping into the shower and going through my routine, I stopped and looked at the back bag sitting innocently on the counter. I hadn't looked at my makeup bag in months, turning back to the mirror I unzipped the bag. Pulling out my black liner and a liquid foundation, I started to apply the foundation and tried to remember when I had stopped.

After applying my makeup I grabbed my Marc Jacobs black fur lined leather jacket, and my black timberlands and grabbed Marc Jacobs bag by the door and slipped it over my shoulder and headed to work with a smile on my face. After I arrived at the office, I went through to Vince's office and greeted him happily and continued into my office. I heard the footsteps behind me and knew that Vince had followed me. I put my bag down on my desk and faced him "hey Vince, did you need something?" I spoke cheerfully. He set himself down into the chair in front of my desk "What happened Kurt, you seem really happy today?". I told him about Elliots visit and about how he reacted and he smiled at me. He pulled himself out of the chair and made his way to the door. "You never know Kurt, you could just get your man after all" he spoke over his shoulder as he sat down at his desk. After Vince left I pulled out the files and layout plans that I had been neglecting, spreading them all over my desk I braced myself and got to work.

I had been in the same spot for about three hours but I was almost done all the files except for the layout plans which I had to do a little bit of tweaking. Gathering the finished folders and making the trek to the front desk, i placed them in the finished basket and started back towards my office when I heard somebody say my name. Turning around I saw Elliot and Rachel standing there, I rolled my eye and turned to head back to my office not wanting to talk to them. But they decided to press, I heard the hurried foot steps and a hand grabbed my arm. I could tell by the size of the hand that it was rachel.

I slowly turned around and the look on my face must have been enough because she let go right away and took a step back. My eyes must of looked like fire because that's how I felt. I spoke low enough that nobody else could hear me, "You both need to leave because you are not wanted here nor are you invited here, So do everybody a favor and leave before we have to remove you". She took a step back bowed her head and walked back to Elliot, where she looked back at me and her face said it all. She had no real idea what had happened between us, But I wasn't about to give in because I knew that if she actually cared she would have been there for me. So without a backward glance I continued to make the trek back to my office, I heard Elliot ask her what I said as she towed him with her out of the building.

After making it up the stairs, I saw vince spying at the top of the stairs, He tried to sneak away when he seen me coming up the stairs but he knew he was caught. When I stepped up to meet him and we walked down the hall to my office. After the door was closed, "Real Talk" started. Vince plopped down into the car by my desk and he gave me "that look", "Kurt, what happened down there? Because it looked like a opportunity that you didn't take". I laid my head down to rest it on the back of my chair, rolling my head to look at him "I'm not really sure, Vince. When she looked at me, I could tell by the look in her eyes that she was only here for Elliot. She doesn't want me as her friend again. She just wants him to be happy". When he didn't say anything for a minute I rolled my head back to look at the ceiling. I looked over to him and seen that he wasn't sure what to say to help me feel better.

So I pulled my papers that i had left and started them. It took a couple of minutes for Vince to leave but when he made it to the door I looked up. He had paused in the doorway, "Are you really sure that you want to cut ties with them or is this just out of anger? Because if it out of anger do you really just want to lose your friends because of something that won't matter in two years?" Then he turned and walked out the door. When I looked back down at my desk, I couldn't focus on the papers. So I pulled out my phone and opened the contact that I knew would be able to help me sort this out.


End file.
